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She is a waitress. She works at a restaurant. A customer walks in. She walks him to a table. She gives him a menu. She puts a plate, fork, and spoon in front of him. He orders fried chicken. She smiles. She is very quick. She gives him his meal. He finishes eating. He gives her a big tip.
Robert's family got together every Sunday. They always had lunch together. Every week, they went to the same restaurant. It was an "All-You-Can-Eat Buffet". Robert's family loved eating. This was the perfect restaurant for them. Robert's mom always ate the most. She would serve herself at least four plates for one meal. His dad was a picky eater. The buffet gave him plenty of options. Aunt Nancy loved the buffet the most. She always brought a bag with her. She would make sure no one was looking at her. Then, she would drop food into the bag. Her bag was three times bigger than before by the time she left.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith had a fun night out. They had been dancing all night. They did not get home until 3 a.m. They found their front window broken. They ran inside. Everything was thrown on the floor. Their televisions were missing. Their laptops were gone. Even their fancy plates were taken. Mrs. Smith started crying. "We've been robbed!" she screamed. The police were called in. "It will probably be impossible to find the burglars," they said. Mr. Smith started cleaning the mess. He saw something lying by the window sill. It was a wallet. The burglar had dropped it while jumpingthrough the window.
Mark Smith needed to get a job. There was one problem. Mark was a bit lazy. He wanted to do something easy. "I know!" he said. "I can be a waiter!" "I don't think that's the best job for you," said his mom. "Why not?" Mark replied. He thought the job looked very simple. "All I have to do is clean tables," said Mark. "Plus, I would get big tips!" Mark got hired as a waiter in a small cafe. He soon realized his mom was right. Everyone who ate left a big mess on the table. Mark hated cleaning up. He was very slow at it, too. He kept dropping plates on the floor. To top it off, he wasn't very nice to customers. They left him small tips. Mark was fired after three days.
Jackie Davis had never owned a pet. She had always wanted one. She decided to go to the pet store. She bought a fish. "This should be pretty easy to take care of," she thought. The fish died after one week. "The water must have been dirty!" Jackie said. She had only fed the fish once. Jackie went back to the pet store. She decided she was ready for something bigger. She bought a bird. The bird died after two weeks. "He was probably sick!" said Jackie. She ignored the empty food plate. Jackie visited the pet store one more time. She bought a dog. Within one week, the dog ran away. He was very hungry. He had run after a taco truck.
She had a lot of money. She was a generous woman. She was once poor. She understood what it was like. She wanted to help out. On Christmas day, she handed out food to the poor. She made the food herself. She put a turkey leg, a scoop of mash potatoes, and peas on a plate. She gave the plate to each homeless person she saw.
The homeless people loved her. One homeless man even gave her a penny. She said to keep it for himself. She decided to do more. She gave $50 to every homeless person she saw. She felt good.
Shirley is a very picky eater. She does not eat anything with cheese. She does not like chicken or pork. She does not like trying new things. One day, Shirley went to her friend's house. Her friend's dad made them a Cambodian dish. Shirley was used to eating American food. "I can't eat this," Shirley said to her friend.
You have to! My dad made it for you," she said. Shirley felt bad. She grabbed her fork. She slowly stuck it into the food. She ate it slowly. It was surprisingly good. She finished her food in five minutes. "Wow! I will get you another plate," her friends's dad said.
Karen was hungry. Her mom did not make any food. She was home all alone. She decided to make a sandwich. She was going to make a super sandwich. She first started with bread. She then spread mayonnaise and mustard on it. She also added different types of meat. She had bolognese, ham, and bacon.
She decided she could not have all meat. She added lettuce, tomatoes, spinach, and cilantro. She added a special twist by adding chips and avocados to her sandwich. She knew this was going to taste amazing. She got a plate and sat down. She was ready to eat her sandwich.
Lillian loves spicy food. She has a high tolerance for it, which means that she can eat a lot of it without suffering. Sometimes, she even adds more chili to spicy food! Lillian and her friends decide to try the Fireball Wings at a popular chicken wing place in their town. The Fireball Wings were supposed to be so spicy that you could still feel the burn after one hour of eating a bite.
Lillian and her friends had to sign a waiver to eat the wings so that they couldn't sue the business if they had any health problems after eating the wings. Lillian was excited. Finally the plate of wings came in, and everyone could smell the chilli. One of her friends sneezed because the smell was so strong.
Lillian took the first bite. It was hot! She started panting and breathing heavily. She drank some water, but it was still hot. Her friends ordered some milk for her. Milk is supposed to be good for dealing with spicy food. Lillian drank two glasses of milk, but her mouth was still burning. Her friends decided not to eat the wings, because if Lillian couldn't handle it, then they surely wouldn't!
Steven was hungry. What could he eat? He looked in the refrigerator. He saw some orange cheese. He saw some yellow butter. He knew what he would eat. He would eat a melted cheese sandwich. He took the cheese and butter out of the refrigerator. He buttered two slices of bread. He sliced the cheese and put it between the two buttered slices. He heated the frying pan. He put the cheese sandwich into the frying pan. After three minutes, he flipped the sandwich over. After three more minutes, he put the melted cheese sandwich on a plate.
She poured a little vegetable oil into the frying pan. Then she turned on the stove. She took an egg out of the refrigerator. She cracked the egg into a small bowl. She put the eggshells into the kitchen trash bag. She waited for the oil to get hot. She poured the raw egg into the pan. After about two minutes, she flipped the egg over and cooked it for another two minutes. She turned off the stove and took the fried egg out of the pan. She put the egg on a small plate. She sprinkled pepper and salt on the egg. She took a fork out of the kitchen drawer. She walked over to the dining room table with her fork and plate. She tasted the egg. It was delicious.
She opened the refrigerator. She took a carrot out of the refrigerator. She took a carrot peeler out of the kitchen drawer. She peeled the carrot. She put the carrot skin on a white plate. She rinsed the carrot peeler. She chopped off the two ends of the carrot. She put the carrot ends on the white plate. She chopped the carrot in half. She rinsed the knife. She sprinkled a little salt onto the carrot halves. She put the carrot halves on a blue plate. She put the blue plate on the table. The blue plate was for her. She put the white plate on the floor. Her pet rabbit ran over to the white plate. It ate everything on the plate. The rabbit didn't need salt.
Eddie made a sandwich. He made a sandwich for lunch. He made a turkey sandwich for lunch. He put two slices of bread in the toaster. He pushed down the toaster handle. He took some turkey out of the refrigerator. He sliced the turkey. He put it into the microwave. He sliced an onion. He sliced a tomato. He put the toast on a plate. He put the turkey on the toast. He put the onion on the toast. He put the tomato on the toast. He ate the sandwich. He washed the plate. He washed the knife. He looked at the kitchen floor. Water was on the kitchen floor. Something was leaking. He looked under the kitchen sink. He looked at the garbage disposal. Water was dripping from the garbage disposal. Water was dripping onto the kitchen floor. The garbage disposal was old. Eddie needed to replace it.
The loaf of bread is next to the jar of peanut butter. The bag of peanuts is next to the carton of milk. The plate of cookies is next to the bowl of chicken soup. The cup of coffee is next to the glass of juice. The fork is next to the spoon. The knife is next to the salt shaker. The salt shaker is next to the pepper shaker. The milk is in the carton. The water is in the glass. The coffee is in the cup. The soup is in the bowl. The milk is in the refrigerator. The soda is in the refrigerator. The ice cream is in the freezer. The lamp is on the table. The toaster is on the kitchen counter. The toaster is plugged in. The microwave is on the kitchen counter. But the microwave isn't plugged in. Someone unplugged the microwave. Who unplugged the microwave? I will plug it in. I want to eat some popcorn. I want some hot popcorn. I will plug in the microwave. I will eat hot popcorn and drink a cold soda.
It was a white, plain-looking dinner plate, with no adornment. The brand name was Corelle, a popular brand made by Corning. On the bottom of the plate, in addition to "Corelle" and "Corning," was the following text: "Microwave Safe—Not for Broiler or Stovetop Use.
Although now they were hard to find, all of his plates were the same brand and the same color. He had bought these plates, years ago, for two reasons. One, food cannot easily stick to or "hide" on unadorned plates. Therefore, they are easier to clean. Two, white plates show stains more clearly than colored or decorated plates. Stains you can see are stains you can clean. He had the same philosophy about silverware. He bought knives, forks, and spoons that had no ornamentation.
Standing at the kitchen sink, he turned on the cold water faucet. He picked up the dinner plate in his left hand. He grabbed the pad with his right hand. Dishwashing soap was already on the pad. He wet the pad and started scrubbing the plate. There was a stain in the middle of this plate, about six inches across. It went all around the plate, just inside of where the plate curved upwards.
This light brown stain had been growing for months. Today, he was going to get rid of it once and for all. He scrubbed. He scrubbed some more. He rinsed the plate off. The stain was still there. He added more soap to the pad. He scrubbed some more. All of a sudden, because the plate and his hands were so soapy and he was scrubbing with such force, the plate flew out of his hands. It didn't land softly on the seat cushion of the dining room chair. Instead, it crashed into the metal arm rest of the chair. Each of the four pieces on the floor was about the same size.
The next day, Harlan called Nevin to thank him for coming to the wedding. "By the way, how was your steak?" he asked. "Ernie told me his steak was tough, and so did several others.
Mine was tough," Nevin said. "It looked and smelled good, but it was tough. I needed a steak knife, because my butter knife wasn't working out. But they didn't have any steak knives on the table. I guess that's part of our war against terrorists. So, I ate about a fourth of it, and left the rest on the plate. Janelle's was a little tough, too. She switched it for salmon.
Nevin went on. "Also, as you probably know, the only urinal was busted. It had an out of order sign on it. One of the two soap dispensers in the men's room was completely empty of soap. On the plus side, the wait staff served the food without coughing on it or getting their fingers all over the plates or glasses. And they always said sir, ma'am, please, thank you, and you're welcome. And, perhaps most important to me, I never had to ask to have my coffee cup refilled.
Harlan asked Nevin to write a letter to the Cowfish about how tough his steak was, and about the other negatives he had just mentioned. Nevin asked how much Harlan was hoping to get refunded. "Well, I think they're going to get four or five complaint letters. If they don't refund me at least $2,000, I'll tell them that I'm going to hire a lawyer.
Well, I hope the rest of the evening went better than the dinner," Nevin said.
Oh, yes," said Harlan. "I was online all last night and found a great deal on a cruise to Panama. We'll save 50 percent if we go during the rainy season and if we take the cabin nearest to the engine room, so I signed us up.
Alvin didn't like the way the waiter walked—he projected an air of arrogance. The waiter came to their table with three glasses in one hand and three menus in the other. His thumb and fingers were all over the insides of the glasses. Alvin was disgusted. Hank and Nathan didn't seem to mind. "Any germ that doesn't kill you, just makes you stronger," Hank said. Alvin told Hank to remember that in a day or so when he was barfing in the toilet.
Alvin refused to drink or eat anything. He told them he would eat when he got home. Ten minutes later, after finally getting the waiter's attention, Hank and Nathan each ordered a small salad, a double cheeseburger with chips, and a couple of beers. Alvin asked the waiter if he had worked there long. "Long enough," the waiter replied. When he returned with the beers, Nathan told the waiter thanks. The waiter said nothing in reply.
Did you see that?" Alvin asked. "You said thanks, and he didn't bother to say you're welcome." Hank said that younger people today were not taught the finer points of etiquette.
The finer points?!" Alvin said. "The finer points are knowing which side of the plate the forks and spoons are supposed to be on. Knowing when to say 'sir,' 'thank you,' and 'you're welcome' is elementary etiquette." The waiter came back to clear the plates from the table. Nathan hadn't quite finished, but said nothing. When the waiter brought the bill about ten minutes later, Alvin motioned to him.
Give me the bill," he said. "I'm going to treat my friends." Wordlessly, the waiter placed the bill in front of Alvin.
Nathan and Hank were astounded. "You know," said Nathan, "this might be the first time I've ever seen you pick up the tab. What's the occasion?" Alvin told Nathan that he just felt like being nice to his friends for a change. The bill was $20. After his friends had left the table, Alvin put a 35-cent tip on the table.
A food called "nutraloaf" has been used for many years in US prisons. But prisoners claim that it tastes so bad that the food is actually punishment. They say that prison officials must charge the prisoner with some type of violation before they can punish him by making him eat nutraloaf. At least one prisoner has filed a lawsuit against the use of nutraloaf. Prison officials say the prisoners are overreacting. They say that nutraloaf is a nutritious food. "It's just like fruitcake," said one warden. Nutraloaf is a mixture of bread, cheese, raw and cooked vegetables, beans, and other ingredients which may vary from season to season and prison to prison.
Prison officials say that using nutraloaf, a "hand" food, increases prison safety, because prisoners don't have utensils or plates to throw at or use against guards or other prisoners. Officials routinely distribute nutraloaf for days at a time when one or more prisoners act unruly.
What are they complaining about? I wish I could have had nutraloaf when I was growing up," said Bob Hope, a prison warden in Arkansas. "It tastes a lot better than the grits and corn bread I ate every day. These guys have a lot of nerve to complain. I've eaten it myself many times—I just pop it into the microwave for a minute, spread a little butter on it, and enjoy. What's their beef? Prisoners are a bunch of whiners. If they want five-star prison food, they should commit their crimes in France.
Inmates released two correctional officers they had held for a week in the tower at the state prison complex. The inmates captured the officers a week ago after the two officers tried to quell a food fight in the main dining room. The food fight erupted when the prisoners discovered that their candy ration had been cut in half. The candy is a popular bartering item. Inmates trade it for cigarettes, cigars, magazines, stationery, legal dictionaries, and other items. Prison officials said it was necessary to cut back on this luxury item in order to provide basic items, like soap and razors and toilet paper.
The prisoners went berserk over the reduction. They threw food, plates, and silverware at the doors, windows, and guards. Then they grabbed two guards and hauled them up to the tower. Once they had the tower door secured, they sent messages to prison officials demanding big bags of candy in exchange for sparing the guards' lives. The warden complied with their demands. After a week of negotiations, the prisoners approved a deal which restored their candy ration, but in return the administration said they would have to reduce daily soap allotments by 75 percent.
The 36-year-old bachelor ate his usual lunch at home. He had an apple, a ham sandwich with a sliced dill pickle, a bowl of chicken noodle soup with a couple of soda crackers, and a small candy bar, all washed down with an eight-ounce glass of milk.
After he finished breakfast, Ed put everything in the sink, poured a little dishwashing soap onto a Teflon pad, and scrubbed the soup bowl, the sandwich plate, and the milk glass. Then he switched on the garbage disposal to grind up the few bits of food that he had scraped off his plate. He left the kitchen to go brush his teeth. But he felt something wet on his bare foot. Sure enough, he looked down and saw some water on the kitchen carpet. "What is this?" he said aloud.
Opening the cabinet door under the sink, he saw no dripping water. He went to the closet and got a flashlight. When he shined the light into the cabinet under the sink, he saw drops of water on the sides of the dark blue steel cylinder. It looked like he had a leaky garbage disposal. To test his theory, he turned on the switch, and a stream of water flowed out of a seam onto the cabinet floor and then onto the kitchen carpet. Ed had a problem, but he didn't have time to fix it now. He had to run some errands. He put some tape over the switch so he couldn't accidentally turn the disposal on again.
A 36-year-old man stormed into the Ramona post office yelling at everyone to get out of his way. Carrying a shotgun, he climbed up onto the countertop and told everyone to lie on the floor. Then he pulled the trigger and fired a round into the ceiling. Plaster splattered onto the floor and the customers.
The man ordered all the customers and employees to sit up and look at him. He said, "Repeat after me: I hate the post office!" Everyone repeated the words. He fired another round, but this one he aimed at the front plate glass window. Shattered glass went everywhere.
Three minutes later, five police cars pulled up in front of the post office, lights flashing and sirens wailing. Using a bullhorn, a police officer told the man to walk out backwards with his hands up. The man fired another blast out the shattered window. The police officer and his bullhorn were uninjured. However, one police car had three little pit marks in it.
The man yelled, "I'm not coming out until the post office pays me for pain and suffering. A postal truck ran into my car two years ago. My back is killing me. I can't work anymore. My wife left me. I can't take it anymore.
After a while, the man calmed down. He released all the people inside. At 7:00 p.m., the man walked out backwards with his hands up. The police handcuffed him, put him in the back seat of the car, and drove him to the police station.
A post office official said that they had tried to settle with the man out of court, but he refused anything less than a million dollars. "So the whole thing went to court," he said. "I guess he got tired of waiting for the trial to begin. He'll probably go to jail for a few years because of this stunt.
The annual teachers' meeting was the only time that all the teachers got together in one place at one time. It was a 3-hour meeting, from 7 to 10 p.m. Lecturers talked on various subjects. Each talk was followed by a question and answer period. It was an informal, pleasant evening.
The evening always began with a delicious dinner catered by a local restaurant. This year's host was a Middle Eastern restaurant. Teachers piled as much as they wanted on their paper plates and found a seat outdoors or in the auditorium. Most teachers really seemed to appreciate the food.
For Shane, this evening was his opportunity to check out the female teachers. This year, a beauty walked into the auditorium about 10 minutes late. She sat in the row in front of Shane, just two seats away. Shane couldn't believe it. She was not only the best-looking woman in the auditorium, but she smiled at him before she sat down. She was tall and had long red hair. She was wearing a sexy black cocktail dress.
Shane could not focus on the meeting anymore. He looked at the lecturers less than he looked at the redhead. He was enveloped in her perfume. She took notes right-handed. She ran her fingers through her hair. She crossed and uncrossed her legs. Shane was going crazy. Plus, there was no ring on her left hand.
The meeting ended. The dean thanked everyone for attending. Everybody applauded the presenters. The redhead stood up. Shane stood up. She smiled at him, and then walked out. Shane walked out. She went to the restroom. Shane waited. When she came out, he walked up to her.
Hi," he smiled. "My name's Shane. I was wondering if you have time for a cup of coffee. I was hoping we could share some of our teaching experiences.
She smiled. "Why, thank you. That's sweet of you. I appreciate your offer, but I've got to get home. My husband is babysitting tonight, and I'm sure he's pretty tired. Maybe another time?" She smiled, and walked away.
He was in his 60s. He was short, fat, and arrogant. He was the plant manager, the supervisor, the boss! His name was Tom. He relished every minute of his power. He yelled at the employees. He called them names. He smoked daily, even though it was against the law to smoke in the workplace. He didn't care. As the license plate on his car said, he was The Boss.
California is an "at will" state. That means that your employer can let you go for no reason ("You're fired!") or almost any reason ("You're fired because you're too tall!"). You can take your firing to court if it involves discrimination—sexism, racism, or ageism. However, even if you were discriminated against, proving it in court is difficult.
Tom considered himself a macho man. He did not know that his employees considered him a jerk. They made fun of him behind his back. They called him Tommy Troll because he was short and mean and had no manners. Never once had anyone heard Tom use the words Please, Thank You, Excuse Me, or I'm Sorry.
Everyone wanted to attend his funeral. But that wasn't going to happen soon. After his last physical, he presented his blood test report at a weekly staff meeting. Every item on that report was within the acceptable range. "The doctor said I'll live to be 100," he said proudly, immediately depressing most of the employees.
Tom played golf every Sunday with some other supervisors. He was a bad golfer, but he thought he was good. He liked to joke around and make fun of other golfers. On the first tee last Sunday, Tom joked about a golfer who had just teed off: "Look at that guy. He swings like a girl." Tom laughed heartily at his own joke. His buddies were silent.
What did you say?" asked the golfer angrily. He had overheard Tom's remark. He was a mean-looking man.
Uh, nothing," Tom said.
Yes, you did. You said I swing like a girl. Now I've got something to say. You apologize like a good little girl, or I'll give you a fresh knuckle sandwich.
In front of his golf buddies, Tom meekly apologized. After only nine holes, during which Tom was unusually quiet, he excused himself and went home. He said he had a headache. But his friends thought it was shame that was eating at him. The next day, Tom was still upset. He told Bill to report to his office. He had never liked Bill. He always wondered why he had hired him in the first place.
I'm letting you go. I don't need you here. Your last day is Friday.
Bill wasn't surprised. Saying nothing, he spat on Tom's desk and walked out.