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Andrew got down on his hands and knees. He put a dry sponge into the bucket. The bucket was full of soapy water. He squeezed the sponge. He scrubbed the kitchen floor. There were marks on the floor. There were spots on the floor. There was old food on the floor. He scrubbed the floor clean. Then he took the bucket into the bathroom. He poured the soapy water into the tub. The water went down the drain. He turned on the shower. He rinsed the tub. He turned the bucket over so it would dry. He washed his hands.
Mike washed his hands. He washed his hands with soap and water. He brushed his teeth. He brushed his teeth with toothpaste and water. He turned off the water. The sink was full of water. The water did not go down the drain. The water stayed in the sink. What was the matter? Why didn't the water go down the drain? Mike waited and waited. The water didn't go anywhere. It sat in the sink. Mike opened a bottle of liquid Drain Opener. He poured the Drain Opener into the sink. Mike waited one minute. Then all the water went down the drain.
It was time for a haircut. Lenny didn't even have to look in the mirror. Even though he was going bald, he knew that he needed to cut his hair every two weeks.
He had a "tongue" of hair on the top of his head. His hair was thinning at the crown. He still had plenty of hair on the sides and back. It was what they call "salt and pepper," a mixture of gray hair and dark brown hair. It was only a few years, he figured, until the salt and pepper became just salt.
He never let his hair grow for more than two weeks. The longer it got, the worse it looked, he thought.
He spread a newspaper over the bathroom sink so that no hair went down the drain. He plugged in the clippers and started cutting his hair. He started at the back of his head, went to the sides, and finished on the top. Every minute or so, he had to clean the hair out of the blades with an old toothbrush.
Finished, he picked up a hand mirror to check out the back of his head. Everything looked okay. He carried the newspaper back out to the kitchen and shook the hair clippings into the trash can.
Ben leaned over the edge of the tub. He turned on the hot and cold water faucets. The water came out of the spout near the top of the tub. He pushed down on the lever beneath the spout so that the water would drain. He was going to take a shower, not a bath.
He tested the temperature. It wasn't hot enough. He adjusted the hot water faucet. There was another handle between the hot and cold faucets. This one controlled whether water came out of the spout or out of the shower head. Ben turned it all the way to the right. Now hot water was coming out of the shower head. The temperature was just right.
Ben took off his robe and stepped over the top of the tub. He pulled the shower door closed. He grabbed the bar of soap out of the soap dish and started scrubbing his face.
While his eyes were closed to keep out the soap, he put the soap back into the dish. Then he reached for the big plastic container of shampoo on his window ledge. The bottle slipped out of his hands and landed on his left foot.
Shoot!" Ben said angrily. That hurt.
Oscar examined the pasta box. On the front, in large letters, was "Barilla Penne—Italy's #1 Brand of Pasta." On the side, in small print at the very bottom, was "Product of U.S.A." Oscar shook his head; they tricked me again, he thought. He added two cups of pasta to the boiling water and set the timer. While the pasta was cooking, Oscar took a cucumber out of the fridge. He peeled it, sliced it, salted the slices, and ate them all while he read This Week, a popular weekly news magazine. Finished with the cucumber, he sliced a pear and ate it.
The timer went off. Oscar poured the hot water through a plastic strainer, and then put the pasta into a bowl. He added a heaping tablespoon of butter to the hot pasta and let it melt in. Then he poured the lemon juice onto the pasta. He chopped up part of a red onion and mixed it into the pasta. He drained a can of boneless herring fillets and stirred them into the pasta. He sprinkled garlic powder and grated parmesan cheese onto the pasta. He put a spoon into the bowl, sat down at his dining room table, and dug in.
When Oscar finished the pasta, he washed the dirty dishes and utensils. Then he poured cold nonfat milk into a large glass, sat down, and slowly ate half of a five-ounce bar of Hershey's Special Dark candy. He washed it down with the milk. Now, that was worth waiting for, he thought.
A middle-aged man with a long beard was arrested by the police for disorderly conduct and property damage. "More charges might be added later," said a police officer.
The man, identified as Bill Wild, checked into the Motel Five last night about an hour after sunset. Telling the clerk that he would be staying four nights, he paid cash in advance. He then asked her where a grocery store was. She said that the nearest grocery store was John-Johns, which was only two blocks away.
The police said that Wild went to John-Johns and purchased three gallons of honey and four gallons of chocolate syrup. The checker asked him what the occasion was. He replied, "I'm trying to become a sweeter person." The checker smiled at the joke.
Wild drove back to the motel. He opened all seven containers and poured them into the bathtub. He added warm water to the mix. Then he placed his boom box on the bathroom floor next to the tub. He tuned the radio to an opera station. He got undressed, hopped into the tub, and started singing loudly with the music.
Fifteen minutes later, the lodgers in the room next door phoned the clerk. She banged on Wild's door, but he kept singing. She phoned his room, but he didn't answer. Then she called the police, who arrived quickly.
Well, at least he paid in advance," said the clerk. "That money will help pay for the plumber." The bathtub drain was completely clogged. The tub remained full of chocolate and honey.
You just never know about people," said the clerk. "He seemed so nice and friendly. Who'd have thought he was a bathtub-singing nut?" The police said this was the third time that Wild had been arrested for this kind of behavior.